We can't control what emotions come to us, how…

We can't control what emotions come to us, how strongly we feel them, nor when they arise. But we have a choice point once we feel them; we do not have to act them out. Some define maturity in terms of increasing the gap between that first impulse and our subsequent reaction.

— from The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy) · *Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organization aExcellence Every Day by Daniel Goleman *

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An immature person has almost no gap — the feeling and the act are the same event. A mature person has learned to stretch the gap wider and wider; in fact you could define maturity as the size of the space between the first impulse and what you finally do. Not all emotions are equal, and the ancients knew it. […] Then use the mighty pause: do not be swept off your feet by the vividness of the impression; tell it, wait for me a little; let me see what you are. Maturity is the size of that gap. Reappraise the storm. Change the definition and you change the feeling. — The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy)

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