Human beings are not disturbed by the things that…
Human beings are not disturbed by the things that they see but rather by the definition they attribute to the things that they see.
— from The Instruments (Awareness/Perception/Expectations) · GB writing
In the book
"We are not disturbed by the things that happen to us, but by the view we take of them." — after Epictetus (Sample epigraph — or use one of your own; you said it in your own voice in, that the reality of a situation never really changes; you can only ever change your perception of it.) At the end of the last chapter I told you that you cannot spend your hours well if you cannot see clearly what is actually in front of you. […] This is the hinge of the entire chapter, and it is the oldest wisdom we have. We are not disturbed by the things that happen to us, the Stoics taught, but by the view — the definition — we attach to them. The reality of a situation does not change; what changes, and the only thing you can change, is your perception of it. — The Instruments (Awareness/Perception/Expectations)
We cannot choose which emotions arrive, or how strongly, or when — but we always have a choice point once they do. We are not disturbed by events themselves; we are disturbed by the definition we attach to them. Change the definition and you change the feeling. […] Maturity is the size of that gap. Reappraise the storm. Change the definition and you change the feeling. Ask whether this will matter in five years; remember that nothing is as important as it seems while you are staring at it. — The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy)