Giving advice, we might be in advertently can bank…
Giving advice, we might be in advertently can bank the people that we. Might be inadvertently conveying to people that we don’t think they can succeed on their own, implying that we view them as so helpless that two minutes of advice will be worth more than all they’ve learned from attempting to solve their own problems.
— from Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict) · How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Katy M
In the book
Confidence itself, you should know, is read far more from behavior — posture, tone, calmness — than from the content of what you say. Be careful, too, with advice. Handing someone unsolicited advice can quietly tell them you don't think they can manage on their own, undermining the very confidence they need; the most effective help is usually delivered under the radar, as quiet support rather than instruction — which is also what actually moves people toward their goals. The deeper art is to start new kinds of conversations altogether: to set down, for a moment, our trained instinct to advocate for our own position, and make the harder move of deciding to truly care about the person across from us. — Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict)