one failure comes, there is a series of questions…
Page 202 one failure comes, there is a series of questions we have to ask ourselves. Which actions of mine Caused us? What could I have done differently? What will I do when and if this happens again? Note something important about these three questions, they’re all inwardly focused. They’re all about personal responsibility. They all except and face circumstances.
— from Failure & Resilience (Challenge/Failure/Perseverance/Accountability/Flexibility/Resilience) · Fortitude American Resilience in the Era of Outrage written by Dan Crenshaw
In the book
what could I have done differently? what will I do when this happens again? — and notice that all three point inward, at your own responsibility, not outward at the world. Then run the four steps for handling any mistake: accept responsibility, learn from it, commit to doing better, and repair the damage as best you can. […] Lead with the response, not the event. Remember it is your resilience, not the adversity, that defines you — and that your response is the one thing you always control. Fail well. Take responsibility even when it isn't your fault; run the three black-box questions — what did I do, what could I have done, what will I do next time; then accept, learn, commit, and repair; taking that responsibility is not a burden but the very thing that turns into empowerment, control, and eventual success. Make yourself accountable on purpose. Volunteer for it rather than waiting to be caught, and use the plain power of knowing someone is watching — accountability to another keeps you honest when your own resolve wavers. — Failure & Resilience (Challenge/Failure/Perseverance/Accountability/Flexibility/Resilience)