there is one area of parenting that the data…

Page 87 there is one area of parenting that the data says you may want to pay more attention to the people you expose your kids to you might be able to really influence your kids lives.

— from Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting) · Don't trust your gut Seth steven davidowitz

In the book

Teach. Remember that you teach far more by your reactions than by your lectures, and that children absorb the standards you model, not the ones you merely impose — so if you are tough on them but easy on yourself, it is the leniency they will learn. Be deliberate about whom you expose them to, because the people in a child's orbit shape them as much as anything you say; I was always careful about the friends I let mine keep. Teach them, above all, to be givers and not takers, and make it concrete rather than preached: when a child first earns an allowance, have them split it into three boxes — one to spend, one to save, one to give away — and do real charity together, as a family, so generosity becomes a habit instead of a sermon. […] Discipline as mercy, not anger. Be the real world's kind proxy; give them a few firm rules so they are welcome everywhere; and let them fail safely rather than smothering their competence. Teach by living it. Model the values you want rather than imposing them; mind whom you expose them to; raise givers, not takers, and practice it together. Guard the time. Set aside immovable weekly family time, eat together with full attention, and keep a ritual that carries the love. — Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting)

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