If times are tough, or others are being unfair…

If times are tough, or others are being unfair or unkind, or you've just had some unpleasant news, or you wanted something and didn't get it, or you loved someone and were not loved in turn, or some other source of complaint is in evidence, clearance is given to feel sorry for yourself. When you're feeling sorry for yourself, you don't ex-pect to help others or show them kindness, or to do important things, or even just to stop and smell the flowers. When you've got a grievance against the world, all the pressure is off

— from The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection) · Progresss Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse by Gregg Esaterbrook

In the book

Better to keep Voltaire's warning close: do not let the perfect become the enemy of the good. The second storm is self-pity and victimhood. Feeling sorry for yourself is seductive precisely because it takes all the pressure off — when you have a grievance against the world, you are excused from helping anyone, from doing anything hard, even from stopping to smell the flowers. But victimhood is profoundly disempowering; the person who feels no responsibility is left waiting, helplessly, for someone else to fix their life. — The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)

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