If we use these three dimensions - here, now…

If we use these three dimensions - here, now, close - in the virtual map of our brains to locate and keep track of our loved ones, then death presents a particularly devasting problem.

— from The Landing (Death) · *Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Mary-Frances *

In the book

Grief turns out to be a country you cannot know until you arrive in it; its first shock can dislocate both body and mind. Much of its torment is the endless reel of "what ifs," the things we torture ourselves imagining we might have done differently; much of it is the mind still reaching for a loved one by the old coordinates — here, now, close — that death has quietly erased. Psychologists describe the healthy path through it as a kind of oscillation, a moving back and forth between facing the loss and stepping back to keep living. — The Landing (Death)

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