life through four lenses

life through four lenses: sweet, sad, heroes, and stories. For "sweet," think about moments in your life filled with deep vitality, connection, or purpose. Why were those moments so meaningful for you? The an-swer might point to an important value. Under "sad," what are the most painful moments in your life, the ones that ripped your heart open? Why do you think you cared so much about them? For a "hero," think about someone who embodies an attribute you'd like to have. What would it take for you to possess that same trait? And finally, think about how you would write the story of your life. How would you want to be remembered? Those "epitaph" qualities are often the ones we wish we exhibited more in day-to-day life.

— from The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection) · Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change by Olga Khazan

In the book

You discover your strengths not by guessing but by looking back honestly at the moments you did your very best work and asking what it was about you that made it go so well. Your values surface when you sit with the simple question, what matters most to me, and why — or when you examine your life through four lenses: the sweet moments full of vitality, the sad ones that broke your heart, the heroes you admire, and the story of how you would want to be remembered, because each of those points straight at a value you hold. Use that material to build something larger — an actual philosophy to live by, formed by sitting with the biggest question of all, why am I here; this is finally what it means to ask, seriously, how should I live — to search out your own true north, the moral center of everything you do. — The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)

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