The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement Stroebe…

The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement Stroebe & Schut (1999). Image in book

— from The Landing (Death) · *Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss by Mary-Frances *

In the book

Much of its torment is the endless reel of "what ifs," the things we torture ourselves imagining we might have done differently; much of it is the mind still reaching for a loved one by the old coordinates — here, now, close — that death has quietly erased. Psychologists describe the healthy path through it as a kind of oscillation, a moving back and forth between facing the loss and stepping back to keep living. The work of grieving well is not to end the relationship but to let it become the changed thing it now has to be; the loss is not an experience to be surmounted and filed away but an event to live alongside, and, when you are able, to grow from. — The Landing (Death)

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