Accustomed thyself to speak in gentleness to all men…

Accustomed thyself to speak in gentleness to all men, at all times.

— from The Air Traffic Controller (God)

In the book

Love the wise and attach yourself to them, and never stop seeking to know your Maker. Accustom yourself to speak gently to all people, at all times. Ponder every word before you let it leave you, because once it is said it cannot be recalled, and carry yourself always as one who wishes to learn the truth, never as one whose only aim is to win the argument. — The Air Traffic Controller (God)

The first discipline is the oldest one our tradition teaches: before you open your mouth, pause and ask yourself a single question — what benefit will these words bring, to me or to anyone? If you live consciously at all, you must take responsibility for the words that come out of your mouth, because they do real work in the world. So accustom yourself to speak gently to everyone, at all times — the words of the wise are spoken softly — and greet every person, friend or stranger, with a warm and open face, because a kind expression is an invitation to friendship while a scowl frightens people away. Then attend to how, not just what. The real secret of good communication is far less about the content of your words than about the way you deliver them. […] Listen first, and generously. Listen with real curiosity and the willingness to be surprised; be silent enough to actually hear; and remember your attention sets the quality of their thinking. Weigh your words before you spend them. Ask what benefit they will bring; speak gently and greet people warmly; mind how you say it, not only what; and beat the curse of knowledge by meeting your listener where they are. Make honesty easy. Build candid, informal dialogue; say the thing plainly rather than assuming you were understood; ask for "one thing to start, one thing to stop"; and speak up even in the unanimous room. — Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict)

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