Check if you are in an openhearted state by…

Check if you are in an openhearted state by asking yourself the following questions: Am I physically calm? If not, am I willing to pause and do things that calm me down like taking a walk outside, breathing, feeling my feet on the floor, or remembering some of my positive qualities and those of my companion(s)? Can I get curious in my reactions to the world and people around me? If I notice that either my partner or I am in a defensive mode, can I get curious about the emotions underneath? Am I curious to map myself, or my companion, on the Change Triangle to understand more about what is happening? Am I feeling connected to myself emotionally? Am I feeling connected to the people around me? If not, can I make a shift toward connection? Can I access compassion toward myself? If I am not alone, can I access compassion toward my companion(s)? Can I access compassion now even though I may also be having other emotions like fear, sadness, or anger? Am I confident that I am basically safe right now? Am I confident in my abilities to find resources and get help when I need it? Am I confident that I can take care of myself? Am I willing to be courageous and lead with vulnerability? Is my mind clear so I can think? If my mind is not clear, am I aware of that so that I do not make important decisions until I am able to access more clarity?

— from The Instruments (Awareness/Perception/Expectations)

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