. The second level is valuing the chessed someone…

. The second level is valuing the chessed someone did for someone else. This is no longer a function of gratitude. The kindness was not done for me, and I owe the giver nothing.

— from The Air Traffic Controller (God)

In the book

How much better off am I now that it was? The grand gestures of thanks are only ever expressions of that underlying recognition, not the thing itself; our mother Leah, naming her son Yehudah, gave what the sages call the first true expression of gratitude in the world. We are told, plainly, to be more grateful and more forgiving than comes naturally — even to grant that we may have a positive duty to feel grateful at all. — The Air Traffic Controller (God)

Aim higher than mere decency, too — the truly righteous person is sensitive and proactive about avoiding causing pain to others even in the most indirect ways. And learn to value a kindness even when it was done to someone else and you owe the giver nothing; that is a finer thing than gratitude alone. Understand, too, that responsibility runs in both directions: you are answerable not only for the harm you do but for the good you fail to do — the man who leaves a hole in the ground unfilled is responsible when someone trips on it. — True North (Ethics, Integrity, Truth, Values)

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