I'm not sure I don't know if I've always…
I'm not sure I don't know if I've always been had a combination of kindness and the toughness. Most people say that I'm very tough. I don't think that I'm tough at all I. I think that I just know what I want and know what I'm willing to pay and no what I'm willing to sell something for and you know so it's not something that I consider tough My kindness I I try not to show because it always gets me into trouble. I'm going to stay with 90% of the time or at least 80 I get taken advantage of on that eventually. And again going back to what I said before people have the ability to justify their behavior to satisfy their own goals. And it is just as possible that I'm the one that's justifying my behavior The satisfy my goals and I'm the one that's being not honest. One of the attributes that I have and that I always tell my kids and grandkids is that I do not believe that I am smarter than most other people. I may have more knowledge than some people, but that's primarily because I read a lot and I'm always looking together information. But as far as smartness, I am not smarter than anybody else. That means that when I am making 10 decisions I get nine of them right and one wrong. When somebody else is making 10 decisions they get nine right and one wrong. So therefore we are both at the same level of intelligence. Would I do that contributes more to my success is that in the time that most people make 10 decisions I have made a hundred decisions. So if you're batting average is nine right then one wrong in the time that somebody made nine decisions right I made 90 decisions right. In the same time that they made one decision wrong I made 10 decisions wrong. But the 90 overshadows the 10 just like the nine overshadows the one. So I get a lot of stuff done because I make decisions quickly. In order to make decisions quickly you need to be extremely decisive. That means that you cannot be wishy-washy and wiggle around do I want to buy this do I not want to buy this do I want to sell this do I want to pay more do I not want to pay more. So therefore I am always preparing for most situations with very definitive answers and parameters and therefore I don't need to be wishy-washy. As a matter of fact just before starting this session, I received the phone call about the a property whether I want to sell it or not then at what price and there are some environmental issues at the property and somebody made an offer to buy the property and if I would pay for the environmental. I gave the matter thought, and rather than get into a negotiating game of I'm going to ask a little more and get a little bit less and go back and forth and spend a whole bunch of time just negotiating over silliness possibly. I thought for about 5 minutes and came up with what I consider to be a fair proposal, and my plan is to present that proposal as they take it or leave it situation. If they are willing to take it that's fine and if not games over and I go home. Had a best-case scenario I'm going to get my money and I save time or I'm going to get what I want and I save time. At a worst case scenario I don't get it but I still have saved time and I'm moving on to the next item without any regrets. Which leads me to something else which is called regrets and regrets is something that is one of the most important words in the English language. And I try to live by a philosophy of looking back without regret at the major decisions of that I have made. And I am very happy to say that I have very few regrets about decisions that I made. The ones where I have regrets on are painful but the but they are very few and far between. One of the pieces of advice that I I share with the children and grandchildren or other people when they come to me with questions on how to make tough decisions is that I asked them the options of the decisions that they are trying to make. And when they give me the two or three or four options or alternatives that they have to the situation that they're facing., I asked them if you don't do this will you have regrets? If they answer on one of them that they do not will not have regrets on the other one that they may have regrets always tell them to take the one that where they will have no regrets because that's something that is very difficult to get out of your system. It is difficult and and probably not impossible but I do not want to discuss regrets only because the regrets may be harmful or hurtful to other people and the benefit derived would not offset the pain that's caused.
— from The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy)
In the book
Only do not mistake meditation for a permanent cure; it calms you, but mostly while you are in it, so it has to be a daily practice rather than a one-time fix. Regret. This is the storm I have thought about most, because regret is, to my mind, one of the most important words in the English language — and one of the most painful emotions a person can carry. So let me give you the framework I built my life around. […] Here is the practical tool I taught your parents and have tried to teach you. When you are stuck between options, lay them out and ask of each one: if I do not choose this, will I regret it? Then take the path that leaves you with no regret — because regret is the hardest thing of all to get out of your system. When you do feel it, make it the productive kind: don't dodge it, don't wallow, let the feeling become a catalyst — productive regret aggravates, then activates. […] Tame anxiety with tools, not willpower. Breathe from the belly to calm the body; let the wave rise and pass without fighting it; schedule your worry instead of letting it run loose all day; and remember that worry steals today's peace without touching tomorrow's trouble. Decide by regret, then forgive yourself. Facing a hard choice, ask of each path, will I regret this? — and take the road with no regret. When something still went wrong, forgive yourself: you acted on the best mind you had in the moment. — The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy)
I will tell you honestly how I see myself, because that honesty is the whole point of this chapter: I do not believe I am smarter than other people. I simply read a great deal, I gather information, and above all I make decisions quickly and without dithering — so in the time most people make ten decisions, I have made a hundred, and the good ones pile up. And I hold myself to account: I have always tried to live so that I look back on the big choices without regret. […] I simply read a great deal, I gather information, and above all I make decisions quickly and without dithering — so in the time most people make ten decisions, I have made a hundred, and the good ones pile up. And I hold myself to account: I have always tried to live so that I look back on the big choices without regret. So here is what I most want you to carry from this chapter. — The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)
They think I am unusually smart. I am not — I simply do not believe I am smarter than the next person. What I do differently is quantity and speed: in the time most people make ten decisions, I make a hundred, and because I refuse to be wishy-washy, the good ones pile up far faster. […] It is that I have made peace with two things. First, that I will be wrong some of the time — nine right and one wrong, like everyone — so the answer is simply to make more decisions, faster, and let the good ones accumulate. Second, that everything is, in a sense, my fault — and that this is good news, because if it is mine, then it is within my control, and the fear of it disappears the moment the decision is made. — Decisions & Choices (Decision/Choice/Focus/Forethought/Consequences)
Also belongs to
- Time
- The Mind in the Cockpit
- The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)
- Decisions & Choices (Decision/Choice/Focus/Forethought/Consequences)
- Goals, Action & Defining Success (Goal/Action/Success/Motivation)