Values are absorbed by an individual from their parents…

Values are absorbed by an individual from their parents, their friends, society, the press, etc. The obligation to teach values rests primarily on the parents. The parents generally choose the school to which the child goes to, and therefore the child gets values through the school system as well. When my children were younger, I used to be very careful with the friends that I let them hang around with. This was another way for me to teach values. Many children fail to adopt the values of the parents after they go to school. Sometimes this is the fault of the school and sometimes it is the fault of other influences that will pull the child away from the value track that they're on. I would never let any external institution or a person decide what my children's or my grandchildren's values should be. This is an important principle.

— from True North (Ethics, Integrity, Truth, Values)

In the book

Values are the heading you choose to fly. Identify and prioritize your core values, because they are what guide every real decision. Values are absorbed — from parents, friends, society, the press — and the obligation to teach them rests first on parents; when my children were young I was careful about the friends I let them keep, because I would never let any outside institution or person decide what my children's or grandchildren's values would be. Ask yourself honestly: do you want your children's values dictated by you, or by their school and their classmates? […] Argue to learn, not to win. The crowd's agreement doesn't make you right — your facts and reasoning do. Choose your values on purpose, and teach them. Don't outsource them to the crowd or the culture. Own what you fail to do. Responsibility covers the unfilled hole, not just the harm you cause. […] But this much I know from the inside. Guard the people you let close, especially when you are young; I chose my children's friends carefully, and I would never have let a school or a crowd decide what my children's or my grandchildren's values were going to be — that job is yours, and it does not transfer. Make your word immeasurable, so that the people who deal with you never have to wonder; be the one who follows through. — True North (Ethics, Integrity, Truth, Values)

Teach. Remember that you teach far more by your reactions than by your lectures, and that children absorb the standards you model, not the ones you merely impose — so if you are tough on them but easy on yourself, it is the leniency they will learn. Be deliberate about whom you expose them to, because the people in a child's orbit shape them as much as anything you say; I was always careful about the friends I let mine keep. Teach them, above all, to be givers and not takers, and make it concrete rather than preached: when a child first earns an allowance, have them split it into three boxes — one to spend, one to save, one to give away — and do real charity together, as a family, so generosity becomes a habit instead of a sermon. — Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting)

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