Identify which trait or characteristic you would like to…

Identify which trait or characteristic you would like to change. Set your goals small. Act the part of your changed trite. Try to identify actions that will display that trait. Write them down. Make it like a to-do list. Trek your progress by keeping a log. Right down your goals. Stick with it.

— from The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)

In the book

Changing a trait is possible; it works just like changing a habit. You identify the one trait you want to change, set small goals, act the part of the person who already has it, write the actions down like a to-do list, and track your progress in a log. Even the things we treat as fixed gifts are not as fixed as we think: willpower is not an inborn trait you either have or lack, and creativity is not something a lucky few are born with but a capacity that lives inside all of us, waiting to be exercised. […] Talk to yourself like someone you love. Catch the inner bully in the act; aim for excellence but never let perfectionism stop you from trying; and refuse to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Build your character on purpose. You are not set like plaster: pick one trait, set small goals, act the part, and track it in a log. Choose optimism over pessimism, humility over pride, grit over giving up, and generosity over entitlement. […] Take responsibility for your life, all of it, because that is where your power lives. Build your character the way you would build any habit, one deliberate trait at a time, and never believe the lie that you are finished setting. Reflect often enough to actually learn from your own life — and be at least as kind to yourself as you would be to someone you love. — The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)

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