so if you’re married remember that it’s not a…
Page 20 so if you’re married remember that it’s not a guaranteed pathway to permanent happiness, you’ll have to work at your relationship continually.
— from Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)
In the book
And do not surround yourself only with people who agree with you: we learn far more from those who challenge our thinking than from those who merely affirm what we already believe, so keep a few friends brave enough to tell you that you are wrong. A word about the deepest friendship of all, marriage. Do not imagine it is a guaranteed path to happiness that, once entered, takes care of itself — you will have to work at it continually, for the rest of your life. Real love is not the relationship that feels oppressive and strained, but the one in which you can finally say, I can be completely myself with this person. […] Keep the good ones. Stay curious about them; play win-win, wanting them to win as much as you do; and keep a few friends honest enough to challenge your thinking. Work at love. Treat marriage as continual work, not a finish line; insist on both truth and tenderness; and aim for the love in which you can be fully yourself. Belong by contributing. Find the people who care about what you care about, and earn your place by being useful rather than by being praised. — Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)