what would I want if I were in that…

Page 76 what would I want if I were in that their shoes.

— from The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy) · What it Takes, Lessons in the Pursuit of Excellence

In the book

The simplest definition is the best: empathy is being aware of something and then caring about it. It begins with one question — what would I want if I were in their shoes? There are really two kinds working together: cognitive empathy, which lets you understand how the other person thinks and sees the situation, and emotional empathy, which lets you feel what they feel because, through a kind of brain-to-brain resonance, you actually feel a version of it yourself. The good stuff goes one step further into what scientists now call empathic concern — not just sensing what another feels, but truly caring about their wellbeing. […] Build awe around an ordinary moment by truly attending to it; keep a jar of awesome; borrow the old blessings that train you to notice the rainbow and the blossom. Practice empathy as a skill. Start every encounter by asking what the other person actually wants; stay out of judgment and take their perspective; and listen long enough and deep enough that they feel safe to open layer after layer down to where the real thing lies. Guard your inputs and forgive your debtors. You become the average of your five closest people, so choose them consciously. — The Heart in the Cockpit (Emotion/Awe/Anxiety/Regret/Empathy)

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