a relationship that feels oppressive and strained when two…
Page 98 keyword relationship a relationship that feels oppressive and strained when two people are together cannot be called love. When someone can say that I can behave freely when I am with this person, this can be called love .
— from Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)
In the book
A word about the deepest friendship of all, marriage. Do not imagine it is a guaranteed path to happiness that, once entered, takes care of itself — you will have to work at it continually, for the rest of your life. Real love is not the relationship that feels oppressive and strained, but the one in which you can finally say, I can be completely myself with this person. The great teacher Waldo said love requires two things in equal measure — truth and tenderness — and that a relationship thrives only when both people are first true to themselves. […] Keep the good ones. Stay curious about them; play win-win, wanting them to win as much as you do; and keep a few friends honest enough to challenge your thinking. Work at love. Treat marriage as continual work, not a finish line; insist on both truth and tenderness; and aim for the love in which you can be fully yourself. Belong by contributing. Find the people who care about what you care about, and earn your place by being useful rather than by being praised. — Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)