listening is more than being quiet while the other…
Page 29 listening is more than being quiet while the other person speaks until you can say what you have to say. Listening is really something that Naomi reman entitled generous listening. Generous listening is powered by curiosity, a virtue we can invite the nurture in ourselves to render it instinctive. It involves a kind of vulnerability - - a willingness to be surprised, to let go of assumptions and take in ambiguity. The listener wants to understand the humanity behind the words of the other, and patiently summons one's own best self ones owns best words and questions.
— from Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict) · Becoming wise by Krista Tippett
In the book
It is the work of tuning your receiver to the other person's frequency before you ever key your own microphone. The kind worth learning is what one writer calls generous listening — listening powered by genuine curiosity, a willingness to be surprised, to set down your assumptions and sit with ambiguity, wanting above all to understand the humanity behind the other person's words. It turns out the quality of your attention literally sets the quality of the other person's thinking — people think better in the presence of someone truly listening — so keep your eyes on their eyes and do not look away. […] So here is how to fly the radio between cockpits, and the turbulence between them. Listen first, and generously. Listen with real curiosity and the willingness to be surprised; be silent enough to actually hear; and remember your attention sets the quality of their thinking. Weigh your words before you spend them. Ask what benefit they will bring; speak gently and greet people warmly; mind how you say it, not only what; and beat the curse of knowledge by meeting your listener where they are. — Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict)