Waldo believed that two elements are essential to all…
Page 141 Waldo believed that two elements are essential to all forms of love, truth and tenderness relationships can only thrive when both parties are true to themselves, first and foremost.
— from Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)
In the book
Real love is not the relationship that feels oppressive and strained, but the one in which you can finally say, I can be completely myself with this person. The great teacher Waldo said love requires two things in equal measure — truth and tenderness — and that a relationship thrives only when both people are first true to themselves. One trick I have found for understanding the people closest to you is to ask what job they most need done in their life right now — thinking about your spouse, or your friend, in terms of the job they are trying to get done is the surest path to real empathy for them. […] Keep the good ones. Stay curious about them; play win-win, wanting them to win as much as you do; and keep a few friends honest enough to challenge your thinking. Work at love. Treat marriage as continual work, not a finish line; insist on both truth and tenderness; and aim for the love in which you can be fully yourself. Belong by contributing. Find the people who care about what you care about, and earn your place by being useful rather than by being praised. — Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)