kids won’t have to stop and think about what…
kids won’t have to stop and think about what mom or dad wants them to do. I’ll just go about it because your family culture has dictated “this is the way our family behaves” a culture can be built consciously or evolved inadvertently if you want your family to have a culture with clear side of priorities for everyone to follow, those priorities need to be proactively designed into the culture which can be built through the steps noted above.
— from Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting)
In the book
The first is family culture. A family culture is going to form whether you intend it or not; the only question is whether it evolves by accident or gets designed. If you want your family to have a clear set of priorities that everyone simply follows — without anyone having to stop and think about what Mom or Dad would want — then those priorities have to be built in deliberately, until "this is how our family behaves" becomes the air everyone breathes. And this is the single most effective way to raise children who make good choices even when you are not in the room to supervise: not rules enforced moment to moment, but a culture they carry inside them. […] So here is how to fly well within the formation of a family. Build the culture, tell the story. Design your family's priorities on purpose rather than letting them drift, and tell your family's narrative often, because it is the root of your children's confidence. Do the three jobs. Teach, protect, and love — and aim always to raise the child into who they are, not who you wish they were. — Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting)