We learn more from people who challenge are thought…

Page 86. We learn more from people who challenge are thought processes then from those who affirm our conclusions.

— from The Mind in the Cockpit · Think Again by Adam Grant

In the book

Run a thinking checklist, and keep good company. Borrow Kipling's six honest servants — what, why, when, how, where, and who — and let them interrogate any hard problem. Seek out the people who challenge your thinking, because you learn far more from them than from the ones who only agree with you; remember Patton's line that if everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. And get comfortable being unsure, holding the question open rather than grabbing the first answer. — The Mind in the Cockpit

That habit, of giving and receiving honest feedback regularly, is one of the surest marks of people mature enough to sustain deep friendships, marriages, and partnerships; and the more you pour into a relationship that matters, the more both of you are strengthened by it. And do not surround yourself only with people who agree with you: we learn far more from those who challenge our thinking than from those who merely affirm what we already believe, so keep a few friends brave enough to tell you that you are wrong. A word about the deepest friendship of all, marriage. Do not imagine it is a guaranteed path to happiness that, once entered, takes care of itself — you will have to work at it continually, for the rest of your life. […] Choose your circle. Run, do not walk, from toxic people; stop trying to win over the unsupportive; and for the people who matter, ask whether you like, trust, and respect them. Keep the good ones. Stay curious about them; play win-win, wanting them to win as much as you do; and keep a few friends honest enough to challenge your thinking. Work at love. Treat marriage as continual work, not a finish line; insist on both truth and tenderness; and aim for the love in which you can be fully yourself. — Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)

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