They practice the "ouch rule," which requires discussions to…

They practice the "ouch rule," which requires discussions to end immediately if any family member feels attacked personally and says "ouch." What's more, they make a point of starting sentences with "and" rather than "but," so that discussions remain neutral and not defensive. Equally effective, they listen affirmatively, ensuring that the speaker knows he's been heard

— from Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict) · Family: The Compact Among Generations by James E. Hughes Jr.

In the book

Where feelings run too hot for a table at all, try walking side by side instead; something about moving in step makes it easier to find a way forward. And run the conversation by rules that protect the relationship: never let a resolution leave one side feeling like the loser, because that destroys the very fabric you are trying to keep; start your sentences with "and" rather than "but" so the talk stays open instead of defensive; and listen affirmatively, so the other person knows they were heard. Listening itself, you will find, is a quiet but genuine form of conflict resolution. — Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict)

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