If you're just nice then you do whatever keeps…
If you're just nice then you do whatever keeps everything harmonious-you play the game of happy family (or some variation, like "happy workplace"). But kindness can lead you to say what might rock the boat in order to address problems that "niceness" hides: that is, saying what's not comfortable to address seething troubles.
— from Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict) · *Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organization aExcellence Every Day by Daniel Goleman *
In the book
We make it worse with our instinct to avoid: we so dread confrontation that we cannot say no, and the very stress of refusing makes us blurt out yes. But mere niceness — keeping everything smooth and pleasant — is not the virtue it pretends to be; it papers over the real problems, where genuine kindness will risk rocking the boat to address the trouble festering underneath. The deadliest pattern is escalation. — Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict)