keyword sadness there is an inevitability of tragic things…
Keyword death keyword sadness there is an inevitability of tragic things in life and loss is not simply an experience to be surmounted but rather an event to live with and when circumstances and capacity enable it, to share it with others. Some of the later years in life are meant to reconcile loss with life and the inevitability thereof.
— from The Landing (Death) · Out of Time, The Pleasures & Perils of Ageing
In the book
Psychologists describe the healthy path through it as a kind of oscillation, a moving back and forth between facing the loss and stepping back to keep living. The work of grieving well is not to end the relationship but to let it become the changed thing it now has to be; the loss is not an experience to be surmounted and filed away but an event to live alongside, and, when you are able, to grow from. The Stoic Epictetus knew how hard this is even for the wise — he taught that if we could truly inhabit the truth that what we love is perishable, we would outwit grief, and then admitted how rarely any of us manage it. — The Landing (Death)