She who only looks inward, will find only chaos…
She who only looks inward, will find only chaos, and she who looks awkward with the eyes of critical judgment, will only find flaws. But she who looks with the eyes of compassion and understanding we see complex souls, suffering, and soaring, navigating life as best as they can, a person who masters these skills will have a cute perceptiveness. It is that simple capacity to make another person feel seen and understood, that hard but essential skill that makes a person a treasured, coworker, citizen, lover, space and friend.
— from Takeoff Into Chaos · How to Know a Person by David Brooks
In the book
Keep the lighter instruments close. Carry a sense of humor — without it, the flight is a colorless burden; with it, you actually enjoy the flying and have more to share with the others in your formation. And turn compassion, not just judgment, on yourself: the one who only looks inward finds chaos, and the one who looks with the cold eye of criticism finds only flaws, but the one who looks with understanding finds her way through. Watch for the hinges. Give real attention to the natural defining moments — the transitions, the milestones, the partings — because those are the points on which a whole life quietly turns. — Takeoff Into Chaos