Hage 88 I am right

Hage 88 I am right. That is to say, the other party is wrong. At that point, the focus of the discussion ships from the righteousness of the assertions to the state of the interpersonal relationship. In other words that I am right that this person is wrong, finally, it becomes a contest, and you are thinking I have to win! It’s a power struggle.

— from Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict) · Courage to be Disliked

In the book

The instant a disagreement becomes about who is right, it stops being about the issue at all. "I am right" quietly means "you are wrong," and from there the whole thing slides into a contest, a power struggle in which winning matters more than truth. And often you are not even fighting about anything real: a great many arguments are just fighting with the air, clashes of stereotype and assumption rather than any genuine difference of substance. — Communication & Conflict (Communication/Conflict)

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