Same is accountability it is one of the most…

Page 156. Same is accountability it is one of the most important concepts that make up the bedrock of well functioning society. Personal responsibility leads to empowerment, control, and ultimate success. A person who isn’t personally responsible, Feels no shame for her, is by definition waiting for someone else to be responsible for them. This isn’t empowering. It is disempowering.

— from The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection) · Fortitude American Resilience in the Era of Outrage written by Dan Crenshaw

In the book

I am responsible, the self-respecting person says, for my own choices and actions, for how I spend my time, for the relationships I enter and stay in, for the way I treat other people, and for the meaning I give — or fail to give — to my own existence. That kind of radical responsibility is not a burden; it is the very thing that makes you feel empowered rather than tossed about, because the person who refuses responsibility is, by definition, always waiting for someone else to be responsible for them. But be fair in the accounting, too: everyone alive has both strengths and weaknesses, and yet all too often we obsess over the few things we cannot do and ignore the many things we can. […] The second storm is self-pity and victimhood. Feeling sorry for yourself is seductive precisely because it takes all the pressure off — when you have a grievance against the world, you are excused from helping anyone, from doing anything hard, even from stopping to smell the flowers. But victimhood is profoundly disempowering; the person who feels no responsibility is left waiting, helplessly, for someone else to fix their life. Beware too the chronic complainer's loop — the mind stuck circling its own problems, worrying them, needing to talk about them — and break it by starting with something positive and ending on one. — The Relationship With Yourself (Traits/Reflection)

It also means working, as the effective do, within your circle of influence — putting your energy into the things you can actually affect rather than the vast things you cannot. It means accountability, which is the bedrock of any well-functioning society, and it means the courage to speak up when you see something wrong that can be corrected — not to fear doing so, because certain people have an obligation to society to be that voice, and you are now one of them. But hold this in balance: a healthy society needs a measure of conformity, yet it must never demand it at the expense of the individuals who carry unique gifts. — Friends, Community & Society (Relationships/Community/Society)

Two more things matter here, and they pull in tension, which is exactly right. On one side: get out of your comfort zone, because if you stay where you are you cannot expand what you are, and make personal responsibility your bedrock, since it is taking responsibility — not waiting for someone else — that turns into empowerment and then into success. On the other side: do not mistake the climb for the life — a good life finds genuine happiness and self-fulfillment in the doing itself, not only in the arriving. — Goals, Action & Defining Success (Goal/Action/Success/Motivation)

Lead with the response, not the event. Remember it is your resilience, not the adversity, that defines you — and that your response is the one thing you always control. Fail well. Take responsibility even when it isn't your fault; run the three black-box questions — what did I do, what could I have done, what will I do next time; then accept, learn, commit, and repair; taking that responsibility is not a burden but the very thing that turns into empowerment, control, and eventual success. Make yourself accountable on purpose. Volunteer for it rather than waiting to be caught, and use the plain power of knowing someone is watching — accountability to another keeps you honest when your own resolve wavers. — Failure & Resilience (Challenge/Failure/Perseverance/Accountability/Flexibility/Resilience)

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