The late Randy Pausch, in his beautiful book The…

The late Randy Pausch, in his beautiful book The Last Lecture, sets guidelines for the three parts of a proper apology: 1. saying you are sorry and what you are sorry for 2. showing your understanding for how your actions caused hurt 3.making amends or asking how you can make amends if you are not sure

— from True North (Ethics, Integrity, Truth, Values) · It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Co

In the book

One of my own governing rules: arrange your life, as much as you can, to avoid situations in which you would have to change another person. And when you do get it wrong — you will — apologize properly: say that you are sorry and what for, show that you understand how you caused hurt, and then make amends or ask how you can. A moral compass does not usually fail all at once; it drifts, a degree at a time, until you are far off course and still feel level. […] Own what you fail to do. Responsibility covers the unfilled hole, not just the harm you cause. Apologize properly when you're wrong. Name it, understand the hurt, make amends. Refuse to conform when conforming means doing wrong. That refusal is the whole test. — True North (Ethics, Integrity, Truth, Values)

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