as my family grew, The dreams became more focused…

as my family grew, The dreams became more focused and more centered on the family. On a level that was not conscious, all the things that I lacked in my growing up who are placed as dreams for my kids.

— from Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting) · GB writing

In the book

When you find yourself judging your child harshly, stop and ask: is this about me, or about my child? — because so much of what we project onto our children is really our own unlived past or our anxious hopes for their future. I know the pull well: as my own family grew, I unconsciously placed all the things I had lacked in my own childhood onto my kids as dreams for them. Most family friction, I have come to believe, is not born of malice but of misunderstanding: each person holds tight to opinions formed inside their own head, without regard for how differently the other person is processing the same events, and the gaps harden into resentments. — Family & Parenting (Family/Parenting)

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